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For some people, this might have been a problem, but not for me. Half a tank of gas and two blueberry smoothies later, it dwindled to sixteen dollars folded together in the bottom of my pocket. I’d had eighty dollars left to my name when I drove into Greenville, South Carolina. I shove it down one of my stockings as I take my pants off, because I have always believed that the safest place for my money is right against my skin.
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“Oh, of course.” He pulls a hundred out of his pocket and presses it into my hand. “Business before pleasure, babe,” I say, making the little money sign with my fingers. I turn to JimJohn and start to pull my shirt off, then stop. It’s my security detail - Possum, the hillbilly witchdoctor I’ve befriended, following instructions to wait for me to clear the house and call to be sure everything’s okay. Just when the tour is complete my phone rings. I get him to show me the whole house, which serves the double purpose of planning ahead for cleaning and making sure there’s no one else hiding, ready to pop out for a gang rape later. I step in, a little flirty, but all-business to begin with. I like his work jeans and dirty white t-shirt, though. He’s young to have such a nice mini-mansion with a swimming pool and younger than I normally like to deal with. When I arrive at the house of the first viable person to respond to my Craigslist ad, I knock on the door and take a step back. $100/hr – have your own cleaning supplies – no blocked numbers. Gentlemen, do you need a good, clean tease after a hard day’s work? I’ll clean your house and give you a (1) lapdance